Crazy Lies Cocktail
by Funky In Fishnet
Summary: AJ seems crazy to the world at large. She gets a call from CM Punk's best friend, Colt Cobana. He wants to know how much is real and what she's really up to. He gets to hear the truth.


_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.**  
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**_Author Notes: _**_Set during the time AJ seemed to have a thing for Daniel Bryan, Kane, and CM Punk. My interpretation of where it could have gone. I sorta dig crazy chicks too ;)_**  
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* * *

**CRAZY LIES COCKTAIL**

**Raw - 28th May**

When Punk checked his phone messages, he was completely unsurprised to find one from Colt. It consisted mostly of Colt laughing, before he finally spoke.

"Dude, you know how to pick 'em."

Punk curled his lip and rapidly Tweeted something cutting and sardonic about his best friend. Colt would know exactly why and he wouldn't care. He was fine with people thinking stupid shit about him, as long as they kept on listening to his podcasts and attending the independent wrestling shows that he was part of. Colt was Teflon – everything slid off him.

So anyway, that had happened tonight – AJ had helped him. He was pretty sure that without her timely supply of a steel chair, he'd be woozily dealing with the medics right about now, reminding them that it clearly stated in his medical records that he was not going to take any pain meds. Some of them did not like hearing 'no' to their drugs.

And weirdly, AJ hadn't hung around after the match. She'd just smiled widely at him and disappeared. Oh, she was still fucking crazy. Only now she wasn't a total liability and he hadn't been able to miss how good she'd looked in his merchandise.

* * *

**Smackdown - 1st June**

AJ kicked the crate, pouting. Daniel had ruined everything, hurting Punk like that and costing him the match. And now Kane was part of their upcoming championship match too. All because of Daniel. God, he really sucked.

Punk was currently right in her eyeline, fighting off the medics. AJ bit her lip. She was worried, but she didn't approach. Punk didn't look like he wanted company right now. He wasn't a difficult read; he exuded honesty and never hid how he felt. AJ liked that about him. Of course he didn't want medics near him. They kept on trying to make him take pills.

AJ slipped away, keeping a sharp eye out for John Laurinaitis and Eve. They'd already thanked her once today, for 'making things so interesting for Punk.' Urgh. It made AJ feel sick and gave her the really strong urge to beat Eve's face in. AJ cracked her knuckles loudly. One day soon she was going to get Eve in the ring one-on-one and then Eve would know what it was like to feel the odds stacked against her. It was going to be amazing.

Inside the Divas locker room, AJ unzipped her bag. Her fingers paused uncertainly around her cellphone. She already had Punk's number, thanks to a quick visit to David Otunga. He kept Laurinaitis's files up to date and he hadn't been able to say 'no' to AJ. She'd made sure of that. In fact, he still wasn't cleared to wrestle. That was a shame. Of course, she was looking forward to Punk giving her his number himself. But it was nice to have the number already, just in case. And he looked like he could use some support tonight. That sealed it. She quickly texted. _Are you okay? You want me to get you anything? AJ._

It wasn't until after she'd showered and had started playing on her Nintendo DS that she got a reply. _I want Laurinaitis dead._

AJ grinned. She could imagine the exact tone of voice he'd say that in. Maybe he could take out Laurinaitis and she'd deal with Eve. She replied saying exactly that and hauled her bags out to her rental car. She was definitely going to hit the drive-through. Punk had always said that he got really hungry after wrestling. Maybe he'd want a burger too? Closing the trunk, she texted him again _I'm going for burgers. You want anything?_

His reply was short and sweet. _Large. Hotel parking lot._

Happy excited laughter bubbled up AJ's throat and she slammed the car into gear before peeling off towards the drive-through. It was late enough that there wasn't a huge wait so she got to the hotel quickly, stuffing curly fries into her mouth as she drove. Her heart did an awesome little skitter when she caught sight of Punk sitting on his rental car's hood, a dark beanie hat covering his inky-black hair. He had iPod earbuds in and didn't notice her until after she'd parked up nearby.

"Hey, Punk."

She thrust the grease-spotted take-out bag at him and smiled widely at his simple nods of thanks. She hopped up onto the occupied hood without being asked. He looked like he could do with some company right now. Their sides were squished together. AJ didn't mind that he didn't say anything, that he just started eating and pointedly kept his earbuds in. She had curly fries, a double burger, and an extra-thick chocolate shake. And she could hear the Bouncing Souls thanks to the high volume of Punk's iPod. She had the best company beside her. She'd stay until he left. She had an awesome plan.

* * *

**Raw - 11th June**

"Dude!"

"Shut up."

"Dude, seriously..."

"Seriously, shut up!"

* * *

AJ was practically bouncing backstage, unable to keep the enormous smile off her face. Everything was going so perfectly. Her phone chirped again cheerfully in her hand. She ducked into a quieter hallway to take the call. Her phone had been blowing up since she'd made-out with Kane in the middle of the ring. Go figure.

An oddly familiar voice spoke up once she answered. "Is this the crazy chick that's making Punk's life so interesting right now?"

AJ's eyes widened. Oh, she totally recognized that voice. "Colt Cabana?! I'm a huge fan of the Art of Wrestling!"

"You've got good taste."

He sounded pleased and AJ was glad. She'd done her research, which had included watching a lot of Punk's Ring of Honor days. Cabana had been his best friend for years. He was goofy and sweet and really funny. He made Punk laugh and that was completely important. And he was calling her. That was awesome.

"Does Punk talk about me?" she wanted to know.

Cabana laughed. "You've no idea how much."

AJ bounced with happiness. Punk talked about her, with his best friend! That had to mean something good, right?

"So, why'd you make out with the monster in the mask?"

AJ's face scrunched up at Cabana's too-casual words. So this was going to be an important conversation. Cabana was checking on her, trying to work out her motives. It was awesome that he cared enough about Punk to do that.

"Not a total monster, just mistreated," she corrected him breezily. "You know, he tasted sort of fresh and clean. Not what I expected."

There's a surprised pause. "I'm trying to work out if you're actually certifiable or if there's something else going on here."

Ah ha, somebody got it at last. AJ grinned and tucked herself around a corner that she knew would guarantee her privacy and silence. How cool that it was Punk's best friend who sort of got where she was coming from. Or at least, knew that there was more to her than what he'd seen on screen. That was really promising. Maybe Punk felt the same way? Maybe Cabana could point him in the right direction.

She leaned back against the wall and smiled, getting her thoughts in perfect order before she spoke. "So, I lie a lot. But people see the crazy eyes and the smile and they think that I really believe what I say. But really, there's a lot of lying."

"So why don't you tell me which parts are lies?"

AJ grinned. That really was the million-dollar question, and Cabana hadn't been afraid to seriously ask it, for the sake of his friend. She liked that.

"Daniel really was my first love. You don't forget that. And if he thinks I'm still crazy pining for him, then he won't be looking for ways to snare me and use me. He already thinks I'm hooked so his defenses are down around me. And Kane is awesome and huge and scary. But he's got this one weakness for crazy divas, right? So if I play the crazy crush card, then there's a really tender and useful chink in his armor. He's distracted."

"And Punk?"

Because that was what really mattered to Cabana, and to AJ too. She smirked and answered in a faux conspiratorial tone.

"Well, I sorta dig guys who sorta dig crazy chicks."

"Holy shit." Cabana hooted with amazed laughter. "It's a Daniel and Kane set-up."

AJ did a little fist-pump. Nobody was around to see it and she felt giddy with excitement. Cabana didn't sound mad at her at all, or put off. He totally got it.

"You've got all kinds of crazy plans going on, haven't you?"

"You can tell Punk."

"You can't?"

"Urgh, there's cameras everywhere now. They've got all these internet shows and so much that happens here is filmed for them," AJ let out a disgruntled breath. "If I told Punk any of this, it'd be on film somewhere, somehow."

"Wait, so they're filming you right now?"

AJ glanced quickly around the corner and grinned. "No. They filmed me right after I got backstage. They're busy with somebody else. But if I grabbed Punk for a quiet word….."

"They'd be onto you." There was a muffled sound of movement from Cabana's end. "I bow to your evil machinations."

AJ giggled. It was good to have somebody out there who knew what she was really doing and who could help her out, especially since it was somebody so clearly with Punk's best interests at heart, just like her. If she was ever in the same city as Cabana, she was totally buying him a burger.

"So how much of the crazy is lies?"

AJ bit her lip and enjoyed the taste of blood and the feel of cold concrete against her back. "I'm looking forward to Punk finding out the answer to that himself."

_-the end_


End file.
